*A letter written by a fellow sister, Amanda, at the end of her Fellowship House internship with CLDI.
Dear Amanda of August 2012,
As you drive out to Billings for the first time, I know that you are both confident that the Lord has led to you this city, and also afraid and grieving over the ever growing distance between you and your family. Be confident in your decision. This move is what the Lord has for you and Dave. Remember the yearning in your heart for more of Him and His life. Trust the decision you have made; wrestling with it now is only a waste of your energy and the emotions of your heart. Perhaps most importantly, remember that the Lord blesses those who obey Him, and He will bless this year.
It is going to be easy to feel overwhelmed in your new life. There will be times when you feel small, shy, unsure of yourself, and lonely. There will be times when you want to hide. Do not let Satan oppress you with the lie that you will not make it. Your God is at your side and He is capable to taking in all of the emotions and experiences thrown your way. Trust Him. And when you do hide, forgive yourself and move forward. Go back to your God, seek His face.
Pray for your husband. Pray. Pray. Pray. Never underestimate the power of a praying wife. Pray for his faith and healing. Pray for his leadership. Pray against his sins and pray for his encouragement.
Share the Gospel. I know that you feel totally unable to articulate it, but that is a lie. You know Jesus, so share him. It is both your responsibility and a delight to share Him. Do not be afraid, God is a lot bigger than you. He stands outside of your failures. And be comforted that the worst that can happen is rejection. Know then and always, to pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit would speak. That He would guide your words to those hearts He has prepared. Do not waste a chance to share the Love and Good News of Jesus.
Be bold, Amanda. Your fear is unnecessary, and so binding. Be encouraged that you are on the road to freedom; do not give up. Trust in your God. He is asking you to let Him care for you. Yes, He is going to ask you to give up many dreams and comforts. But that is part of obedience. He is asking you to believe in His provision. It is time to hear Him and believe.
Amanda, remember who you are this year. Remember that you are the daughter of the King, and that He alone provides you with life. You are going to learn much about Him and His Kingdom. In Him, you will find the answers to the deep longings of your heart. He will pull you out of yourself and ask you to care for His people. But do not fear, He will never ask you to go alone! You are His daughter! He will be in you, with you and before you the entire journey. However, be prepared to be challenged! Welcome the challenges as invitations to participate in His Kingdom and begin to discover who you are in Him!
If nothing else, as you wander across America in the next few days, meditate on these verses. They will become your companion this year. Let them encourage you when fear clouds your vision.
“Be content with what you have, for God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews: 13: 5b-6).
When God asks you to go, Amanda, be prepared to go. Welcome the lessons this year with open arms; He will bless those who obey. In nine months, you will have new dreams and new hopes. Pray now for direction and obedience in the work God has laid for you in His Kingdom.
Amanda of May 2013